September 27, 2026

Telluride Film Fest Reviews ~ 2026

Films	Grade
A Long Winter	B
Alpha Gang	D
Bucking Fastard	C
Club Kid	A
Elsinore	A+
Fatherland	B
Fjord	A
Gentle Monster	A
Ink	B
La Bola Negra	B
Making Marie Antoinette	A
Tender Loving Care	A
The Debut	B
The Only Living Pickpocket in New York	C
The Liberation	A+
Wild Horse Nine	C

Before I share my opinions about this year’s Telluride Film Fest films… a few quick housekeeping things:

First. I’m hereby nominating Allison Janney to be the Tribute at the 2027 Telluride Film Fest? She’s in Justine Triet’s new film, Fonda, the follow-up to 2023’s Anatomy of a Fall (on Kanopy now – OMD – do you have Kanopy yet?), which won an Oscar + BAFTA for Best Original Screenplay as well as the Cannes Palme d’Or.

Second. Kudos to the programmers for not falling into a trap of ‘Cool Kids Club’ and premiering Alejandro G. Iñárritu’s new film, Digger – which I predict will be a flop. In fact, in my friend group, we feel like Mr. Iñárritu has been overrated for a while… Babel? Birdman? The Revenant? I haven’t seen any since the first time I watched them. They all seem like a gimmick. Single shot. Sure. But where’s the humanness? Where’s the actual story? Maybe it’s AI encroaching… but I’m feeling more and more desperate for humanness… And Iñárritu’s films do not offer it.

Three. More and more, as I am watching a film – I can sense if the film is made by a woman or a man. It’s a buncha subtle things (and big things: like story + casting) but I definitely connect more to the woman-lead films. Like this years: Gentle Monster – straight-forward confident story-telling without a ton of extra narrative or sentimental BS. Women filmmakers, when given an opportunity, are incredible story-tellers. Have you see Janet Planet? God damn. That’s some great storytelling! I reviewed Janet Planet a few years ago when this film premiered at Telluride – and it totally blew my mind.

🎬 The 2026 Telluride Film Festival Films I Saw

I saw 16 films this year — never easy in 4 days! I’ve been training for this all life… Well, the last 26 years…

Here we go!

1. A Long Winter
This year’s TFF’s tribute, Andrew Haigh (All of Us Strangers, 45 Years), directed this dark & cold drama set in Colorado in the early 1950s. Fred Hechinger plays Mikey, a teenage boy whose family begins to unravel after his older brother leaves for the Korean War and his mother, played by Caitríona Balfe, disappears during a snowstorm. Adapted from a short story by Colm Tóibín, it’s ultimately a story about grief, isolation, exploring sexuality & himself amid a family crisis. Compared to All of Us Strangers (on Hulu now – and if you missed it – watch it!), in which Andrew Scott stars – who gives this year’s SUPERSTAR performance in Elsinore, I felt like this film falls a bit flat. It’s subtle, maybe a bit too much.

2. Alpha Gang
David and Nathan Zellner (Sasquatch Sunset) are desperately attempting to create a B- Movie. It’s so dumb – but not in a good way. It’s just bad/dumb. It’s really hard to make a genuinely good / weird movie – and they miss the mark. An alien invasion force lands on Earth disguised as a gang of 1950s leather-jacketed bikers, led by Cate Blanchett, Chris Pine, Dave Bautista and Léa Seydoux. Their mission is to conquer humanity — until they contract the most dangerous thing imaginable to an emotionless alien: human feelings. Riley Keough & Lily-Rose Depp round out the nepo cast. UGH. Swing and a big miss for these white men. Hard pass.

3. Bucking Fastard
I saw this Werner Herzog doing Werner Herzog in the Werner Herzog theater (how’s that for meta?) which is based loosely on the true story of twin sisters who are virtually inseparable. Kate and Rooney Mara play Jean and Joan Holbrooke, sisters who speak in unison, share the same dreams and fall in love with the same man, played by Orlando Bloom. Their search for an imaginary place where true love is possible leads them to undertake the utterly bonkers task of digging through a mountain range. It was reported that this film got a 6 minute standing ovation at Venice… um… what? Those damn Italians must really like standing.

4. Club Kid
And this year’s golden ticket goes to Jordan Firstman – who’s feature directorial debut landed him a coveted spot in this year’s Telluride Film Fest! The film stars Firstman as Peter, a hard-partying New York club promoter whose chaotic existence is upended when he discovers he has a 10-year-old son he never knew about. Cara Delevingne plays Sophie and Diego Calva is also part of the cast, alongside Kirby Howell-Baptiste and Colleen Camp. I only saw half of this film – and will see the second half – due to a technical audio issue. The story is reminiscent of C’mon C’mon (Telluride 2021 premiere) which I absolutely ADORED and promptly watched again this week. Club Kid premiered at Cannes before making its North American debut at Telluride.

5. Elsinore
LOVED. Hot take prediction: Andrew Scott will win Best Actor Oscar for this powerhouse performance. You heard it here first. Mark my words. March 14, 2027. Ok – back to the review… directed by Simon Stone, Elsinore tells the true story of Scottish actor Ian Charleson, played by Andrew Scott. Charleson was preparing to play Hamlet at London’s National Theatre in 1989 while seriously ill with AIDS, and the film follows the extraordinary circumstances surrounding what would become his final stage performance. Olivia Colman (who I love in anything and everything) plays his doctor, with Johnny Flynn and Luke Thompson also in the cast. It’s a film about acting, mortality and the strange power of performing Shakespeare when the stakes are no longer theatrical. I hope this film sweeps the Oscars!

6. Fatherland
Paweł Pawlikowski (Ida, Cold War) directs this intimate historical drama about Thomas Mann and his daughter Erika Mann. Set in 1949, Hanns Zischler plays the Nobel Prize-winning author and Sandra Hüller plays Erika as they travel through a devastated, divided Germany shortly after the war. August Diehl plays Thomas’s son Klaus Mann. It’s as much a family drama as a historical one, exploring exile, identity, guilt and what it means to return to a country that no longer feels like home. The film was slow and boring – with one of those final scenes that wraps up the entire story. Long windup.

7. Fjord
Loved this film! This is the film everyone was talking about in queue for their next movie… because there’s so much to unpack and discuss. This is why we go to a film fest. This film asks you to question your beliefs. Romanian filmmaker Cristian Mungiu (4 Months, 3 Weeks and 2 Days) directs this slow-burning drama starring Sebastian Stan and Renate Reinsve (my favorite TFF ‘25 performance in Sentimental Value) as Mihai and Lisbet, a Romanian-Norwegian couple who move with their five children to Lisbet’s remote Norwegian hometown. This film is a real thinker. It’s about parenting, religion, tolerance and individual freedom.

8. Gentle Monster
This film hits every note… Austrian director Marie Kreutzer (Corsage) puts Léa Seydoux at the center of this tense family drama. Seydoux plays Lucy, a concert pianist whose carefully ordered world is shattered when her husband becomes the subject of a devastating accusation. Laurence Rupp plays her husband, and the film follows Lucy as the accusation forces her to question what she knows about her family and the people closest to her. It premiered at Cannes and made its U.S. premiere at Telluride. This film is bang-on. Authentic. Truthful. It’s a dark subject but the story, dialogue and performances are 100% right on.

9. Ink
TFF loves our Danny Boyle! Loved Slumdog Millionaire! Boyle directs this adaptation of James Graham’s Tony-winning play about the birth of the modern British tabloid newspaper, The Sun and then America’s bigger and more rage-fueled version, Fox News. Newbee, Jack O’Connell gives an incredible performance as The Sun editor Larry Lamb, while Guy Pearce plays Rupert Murdoch and Claire Foy plays Jules Davies. Set around the creation of Murdoch’s radically sensational newspaper, the film is about ambition, journalism, power and the idea of giving readers “what they want.” With every quick edit, I could just imagine Boyle sitting with the editor pressing every digital edit button.. “What does this button do? Oooh! Zig zag dissolve!” Other film reviewers will describe his kinetic filmmaking as a style choice… I interpret more as an old guy pressing a lot of shiny buttons. I will not remember this story in 5 years. Sorry, Danny. I still love you!

10. La Bola Negra (The Black Ball)
Spanish filmmakers Javier Ambrossi and Javier Calvo tell a sweeping, nonlinear story about queer identity across different periods of Spanish history. The film connects three lives/existences, exploring sexuality, desire, shame, pain and inheritance across generations. The cast includes Penélope Cruz, Glenn Close, Miguel Bernardeau and Spanish musician/actor Guitarricadelafuente. Inspired by an unfinished work associated with Federico García Lorca and Alberto Conejero’s play La piedra oscura, it is part historical drama, part musical and part meditation on what gets passed from one generation to the next. The story has some issues. I also will not remember this story in 5 years. Or 3 years. I’m actually kinda already forgetting the film and I saw it 2 weeks ago.

11. Making Marie Antoinette
There are always films that I go to because a friend is super excited about it. This film, Making Marie Antoinette, was that film. My friend, Christi, an incredible writer/director was SUPER excited to see it and she LOVED EVERY DAMN MINUTE of the behind the scene scenes. Sofia Coppola’s mother, Eleanor Coppola shot the footage so every frame that she captured feels like a love note to her daughter reminding her how proud she is of her talent and accomplishments. “We mothers stand still so our daughters can look back to see how far they have come.” — Greta Gerwig / Barbie. Also, the Q&A was also so fun. Sofia is shy, but she was proud to finish this film and talk about her mom’s encouragement. Can’t wait to see what she does next.

12. Tender Loving Care
Wait… have you seen Happy Go Lucky? That TFF 2008 film serves as my life’s north star for me! This is the new Mike Leigh film, so you know you’re getting human, messy, funny and heartbreaking territory. Kate O’Flynn (yes, that Kate O’Flynn of Widow’s Bay fame) and Alice Bailey Johnson play Amy and Rosie, best friends and social workers dealing with families in crisis while working within a system that offers them very little support. Amy’s aging parents, played by Marion Bailey and Paul Jesson, become increasingly important to the story as the four characters’ lives intertwine. It’s a compassionate ensemble drama about caregiving, social work, family and the exhausting business of trying to help people. So. Life. Relatable. People either love Mike Leigh or don’t. I love Mike Leigh. He was kind enough to send along a little video to us, the audience, saying that Tender Loving Care may be his last film; he’s 83. I love his stories. Appearing now: Happy Go Lucky, Vera Drake and Hard Truths are all on Kanopy now. You STILL don’t have Kanopy!? What are you waiting for!!? It’s FREE!

13. The Debut
The always awkward, Jesse Eisenberg (see photo proof) wrote and directed this at-times-very funny comedy about community theater. Julianne Moore plays Mona Friedman, a quiet, middle-aged New Jersey housewife who impulsively auditions for a local musical despite having virtually no stage experience; Paul Giamatti plays the demanding director determined to turn her into a performer. Think: Waiting For Guffman – 2026. The one and only Bernadette Peters and Halle Bailey also appear. I liked the film. I didn’t love it. But I liked it. Making a GREAT comedy (like Juno or iTonya) is really hard to do. Sometimes I feel like Eisenberg is trying SO HARD. Maybe that’s just me?

14. The Only Living Pickpocket in New York
Speaking of trying so hard… OMD. Noah Segan wrote and directed this New York crime story starring John Turturro as Harry Lehman, an aging pickpocket whose profession has been made nearly obsolete by credit cards and ApplePay. Where do I start? This film is bananas bad. And Turturro still manages to be great – because he is a master performer. The story is uneven, and then the Hail Mary pass with Jamie Lee Curtis as a mob boss is just so ick. Skip this one. Watch Do The Right Thing or Quiz Show again.

15. The Liberation
Hot take prediction: Carrie Coon is going to win the Best Actress Oscar for her performance. She’s astounding! And she’s so kind (see photos). Guy Nattiv directs this psychological drama inspired by the experiences of his grandmother, a Holocaust survivor. Carrie Coon plays Rita, a suburban wife and mother carrying deep trauma who becomes captivated by Ricki (Lily James), a charismatic spiritual leader running an all-female cult. Rita’s daughters are played by Bella Ramsey and Odessa Young. The film explores unresolved trauma and the idea of finding a completely new life. Some scenes are so beautifully symbolic and poetic. A great film. I’ll definitely see it again when it’s released.

16. Wild Horse Nine
All you Martin McDonagh fans (In Bruges, The Banshees of Inisherin) will probably like this one, too. Me, not-so-much… First… John Malkovich and Sam Rockwell are miscast. They should switch roles. Much better. Because Malkovich just isn’t believable as a skirt-chasing CIA operative. Parker Posey is a delight. And Tom Waits is fun! But – this film is bad. There, I said it. I betcha Phoebe Waller-Bridge could have fixed the script. Is that too mean?

Disclaimer: I feel badly giving any filmmaker less than an A+ because making a good film is really, really hard. I’m midwestern.

So… even if I gave a film a “C” — just know that it’s still 10x better than 99% of the movies out there. 100x better than any Marvel movie. Because these Telluride Film Fest films aspire to be great… they take big swings… and sometimes they miss but they try really hard to be creative and unique. And for that, every film is a winner!

One more thing… God, this is too long already but I can not ignore the Elizabeth (Holmes) Elephant in the Room — and I gotta say that after I heard from my 10th friend who texted to ask me: “You’re at the Telluride Film Fest, right? Did you see the Nathan Fielder/Elizabeth Holmes documentary??”. Ok, I get it. Nathan Fielder has built an entire career around making people wonder where the joke ends and reality begins, and You Can See Everything apparently takes that idea into documentary territory in a new way. But honestly, I find the amount of oxygen this one film has received kind of sickening.

Some of this year’s filmmakers spent 5-10+ years following people, writing and rewriting and rewriting, researching history, raising money, losing funding, starting over, editing thousands of hours of footage — quietly making something because they believe the story matters. Then Nathan Fielder makes a secret movie about Elizabeth Holmes, turns the secrecy itself into part of the spectacle, and suddenly everyone is talking about the stunt (which is kinda the point — this is Fielder’s entire brand). Maybe the audience being manipulated, surprised and punked is the art. I just wish we could remember that sometimes the most extraordinary films at a festival are the ones that don’t arrive with a giant mystery box around them.

PS. My friends who saw it said “meh”.

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Tags: academy awards, film, film review, Film Reviews, horror, movies, reviews, telluride film festival

November 13, 2025

Researching Senior Living? Here’s Your Checklist.

Here’s How We Shopped For The ‘Right-Fit’ Senior Living Community

About a year ago… I was in your shoes.

After a decade of living in my duplex (as my best tenant ever), my mom had made the decision to move out of our shared home and into an independent living apartment in a senior living community. She wanted to find a place where she’d be with her peers. She was looking for a slower, easier pace where building social connections would be as easy as walking to her mailbox.

I won’t go into how hard this was for me… because this isn’t about me. Just like shopping for the right-fit senior living solution for your parents isn’t about you.

And to be clear, I’m only sharing this — because this is really hard… and for all the world-wide-web has to offer… the research was daunting. For a million reasons… but I’ll start with the simplest one. Because my mom gave me everything. And I wanted us to make the right decision.

And I won’t talk in big sweeping generalizations because every person’s needs are unique. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all solution. I’m sharing what we did in the hopes that this checklist helps you to learn (quickly) what makes senior living worth the often — very high price tag.

When you begin your search, start with a clear understanding of what your parent(s) needs today — and what they might need down the road. There’s a big difference between independent living, assisted living, and memory care, and finding the right level of support is key. Does your parent simply want freedom from home maintenance and more social connection? Or do they need daily support with medications, mobility, or memory? Knowing this will help you target communities that can meet both their current and future needs without disruption.

When you visit a senior community, pay attention to the atmosphere. Does it feel alive? Are residents engaged — chatting, playing cards, or laughing in the hallways — or sitting quietly and disengaged? Do staff members seem genuinely connected to the residents? At St. Rita, one of the things I’m most proud of is that our team knows every resident’s name, their story, and what makes them light up. That sense of familiarity and warmth can’t be faked. You can feel it the minute you walk in.

Transparency matters too. Ask questions with very specific answers. What I mean is. Instead of asking: Do the residents like living here? Ask: Do you publish your satisfaction surveys? Every senior living community surveys their residents. So ask if you can see what those surveys say (from the last 3 years). Is there an upward trend? Downward trend? Why? A community that is proud of its standards will gladly share that information. And don’t hesitate to visit at different times of day — breakfast, evening, or weekends — to see if the energy and care are consistent.

Finally, involve your parents in every step. For my mom, this was her decision, and I played a supporting role. I asked questions and I had a more scrutinizing viewpoint because I know what a major disruption moving can be (for her — and me!!). This is their next chapter, not just a move. Encourage them explore, taste the food, meet the staff, and see how it feels. When I watched my mother make her decision to move to St. Rita Square, I realized that her sense of comfort and control mattered most. Now, she’s surrounded by friends, participates in activities she loves, and enjoys the peace of mind that comes from knowing help is always nearby.

Top 10 Specific Things to Ask When Touring Senior Living Communities

For each bullet point here, come prepared with questions that require concrete responses. Like most industries, senior living has access to tons of data. Communities are constantly measuring satisfaction. They know where they need to make improvements. If you ask the right questions, you’ll quickly understand differences between the communities you’re considering.

Resident Energy: Are people smiling, talking, or participating — or does it feel quiet and isolating? Watch body language. And engage with residents during a tour.
- Ask: Schedule a visit during a cocktail party and ask residents: How long have you lived here? What do you like best? Where is the biggest need for improvement?
Staff Connection: Do team members address residents by name and with warmth? And likewise… do residents address care team members and other staff by name, too? Do you feel warmth in their interactions?
- Ask your tour guide: How many caregivers are assigned on each shift? Especially in Assisted + Memory Care. How long is typical tenure for care staff? How do you recognize performance? Low turnover often signals a positive culture where employees — and residents — want to stay.
Cleanliness: Check corners, bathrooms, stairways common areas and hallways — not just the main lobby. The best communities stay spotless everywhere.
- Ask your tour guide: How many full-time cleaners are on staff? Do cleaners clean only common areas? How often are the exterior & interior windows and carpets cleaned — is it regularly scheduled (like every fall/spring)? How often is the dining room floor cleaned? Are the cleaners outsourced / contract staff sent to do the tasks? Or full-time W2 employees (so they get to know/understand the residents’ needs)? Ask residents: Do you feel this place is cleaned thoroughly?
Dining Experience: Ask to sample a meal (then YOU choose the date — or you might be invited to a rare fancy dinner, etc). Ask to see how menus are chosen. Are meal options flexible? Is it freshly prepared? Often dining programs consistently score low on resident satisfaction surveys. Some communities look at this as a challenge they want to tackle and solve… some accept that offering a stellar dining program is too tough — and accept that residents will ‘always’ be disappointed; so they don’t attempt solutions.
- Ask: Are the meals considered to be on-par with restaurant quality? What are the biggest challenges with the dining program? What do residents enjoy most about the dining program? Does Independent Living offer a meal program? Is it different than Assisted Living? How? Why?
Activities Calendar: Look for more than bingo — art workshops, music, outings, exercise, and social clubs all matter. Activities are also a great differentiator about what residents like about the community. For example, St. Rita Square is downtown Milwaukee, so we have a big focus on the arts. We have monthly excursions to local theater like Next Act, the Rep, Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra, and Milwaukee Film Festival member screenings. Residents love this! It makes going to the theater more accessible (especially if someone has any mobility issues) and no parallel parking on busy streets!
- Ask: Can I meet with the Resident Clubs? Bridge, Quilting, Art, etc. Scrutinize the events and outings. Are they offering activities that will interest your parents? How often? Do you think this will be enough to keep them engaged and happy?
This is your home. Do the environmental practices reflect your values? Do you see single-use plastic around the dining room? Cloth tablecloths? Cloth napkins? Or do they use plastic silverware? Plastic cups? Does the facility compost?
- Ask your tour guide: Does this facility have a focus on sustainability? What practices are offered to reduce / reuse / recycle?
Emergency Procedures: What happens if a resident presses their call pendant at 2 a.m.? How quickly does the staff respond? How quickly will I be alerted if there’s an issue?
- Ask your tour guide: Can I see a copy of your Emergency Protocols? What happens if the fire alarm goes off at 2 a.m.? What happens if another resident is being disruptive? Do you have a formal process to “keep the peace”?
How challenging is it to get a human? One of the toughest challenges for leaders at senior living communities is keeping up with labor trends. It’s bad. And it’s getting worse. When you call to set up an appt… how many times did the phone ring? How about when you call after 5PM? Because — remember it’s not just about when they “are trying to close the sale” that matters. After your parents sign the lease — and when you visit after hours/weekends — this will be your experience.
- Ask: When I visit on a weekend — how will I access the building? How is the front desk staffed Mon-Friday? And weekends?
Progression of Care: It’s important that you have an option to upgrade care if the need arises. Example: From Independent Living today… to Assisted Living tomorrow.
- Ask: What is offered if we need Assisted Living or Memory Care? How is the cost determined? What if they don’t have space (no vacancies)? Do they currently have a backlog of people waiting for Assisted Living? Memory Care? What happens while people are waiting? Are families required to find supplemental care? Who pays for that?
Maintenance Requests: Expect the unexpected.
- Ask: What if the elevator stops operating? What happens if there are gnats coming up from the kitchen drain. How are maintenance requests communicated so I know where my request is in the queue?

Side note: Since my mom moved St. Rita Square, I found an opening that matched my passion and desire to be of service so about 3 months after she moved in… I applied for a role as the Lifestyle Enrichment Coordinator — it’s been a dream job for me — for so many reasons. I was so ready to leave cubicle-land. And despite a 75% pay cut, I love my life + job! And the icing on the cake: My mom is 83 years young… she’s thriving, and truly part of a community. Watching her flourish here reminds me every day what “the right fit” really means.

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Tags: aging, art, choosing senior living, family, milwaukee senior living, senior living, writing

October 27, 2025

Goodbye cubicle! Hello ‘Enjoy Life’!

Almost six months ago, I traded in $3 million annual sales goals and endless Zoom calls for something a whole lot more fulfilling: joy, movement, laughter, and chuckling as I drive home at the end of the day as I replay magical moments — that remind me exactly why I blew up my life so I can do this kind of work.

In June, I left my 20+ year career selling B2B recruiting services and took at 75% pay cut to accept the role as the Lifestyle Enrichment Coordinator at St. Rita Square, and it’s one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I’m still getting used to how alive I feel. I mean it—I feel alive. Not the kind of alive where you chug coffee and muscle through emails at 9pm like a corporate zombie. The kind of alive where my cheeks hurt from smiling, my 10,000+ steps have purpose, and my heart feels full before lunch.

Let me say this plainly: I love this job. I love it deep in my bones.

For years, I lived the 24/7 “corporate job” life. I showed up. I did the work. I sat in the all-day training seminars. I spoke at trade shows in Vegas like the grown-up fancy thought leader I am. I logged 10,000 hours because Malcolm Gladwell told me that I could be an ‘Expert’ if I did (source: Outliers). I stared into the abyss of my computer screen until I forgot what daylight felt like. And sure, I was “successful”—whatever that means—but something in me was… well, not dead exactly, but definitely distracted… which I simply chalked up to ADHD… I couldn’t make myself do the work. I just didn’t want to and I couldn’t force myself.

What if life actually doesn’t need to be so hard?

At St Rita Square (owned by Capri Communities, a Wisconsin-based company) every day, I get to plan and lead fun, heartwarming, life-affirming outings and experiences for older adults who are seeking joyful experiences and new ways to enrich their lives. And lemme tell you: these seniors know how to live. They’ve done all the all hard things. They raised kids. And grandkids. Many of them cared for their ailing spouse before they died. Now they take care of each other. And they show up every day with curiosity, courage, and delight. They want to go on boat rides, try trendy new downtown restaurants, sing old songs, tell bad jokes, and make new friends. They want to build community. And I have the tremendous privilege to help make that happen.

The intersection of wisdom and wonder.

What I gave up in cash bonuses, I’ve happily traded for jet fuel in my inspiration tank. Jack, a 91-year old, a weekly Bingo-player who proudly went to the University of Florida, so anytime I call out “N-32” (which was his number when he played football), we all yell “GO GATORS!!” I know a lot about these residents because they share who they are. They want to be seen and engage with me. Everyone keeps me on my toes—in the best way. And somehow, in their presence, my own edges soften. I laugh more freely. I cry more easily. I listen better. I stop rushing. Something I wasn’t even aware I was doing. It was imperceptible.

And if I’m really honest, there’s a more personal reason I made the decision to blow up my life and quit my corporate job.
Almost two years ago, my mom had a serious health challenge. It was one of those moments that stops life in its tracks and rearranges your priorities overnight. For all of 2024, I helped her recuperate, rebuild strength, and regain confidence. It was hard and humbling for us both, but it was also sacred. Watching her fight to get well taught me what true resilience looks like. My mom is still the bravest, most kind, most lovely person I’ve ever met. She is my hero.

After living in my duplex on the first floor (and me on the second floor) for the past decade, my mom decided she wanted to move out to live among her peers. I was sad but also proud to see her striving for independence. After an exhaustive search for the right community in Milwaukee, she chose to move to St Rita Square. Just a few months later, I learned about an open role for the Lifestyle Enrichment Coordinator. I applied and to their credit, they didn’t see a conflict (that my mom was a resident), the Executive Director hired me immediately. when the opportunity came to join the team here, I didn’t hesitate. I wanted to be close to her—to see her every day, to know she’s part of a community that cares for her deeply, and to bring that same sense of love and purpose to others. This isn’t just a job to me. It’s personal. It’s full-circle. It’s love put to work. Bonus: I get to see my mom every day!

Beautiful serendipity.

Turns out… all those years in the corporate world weren’t wasted. Every spreadsheet, every marketing brainstorm, every “how can we make this better?” meeting—turns out, I was in training for this. Now I get to use my organizational, sales, and marketing superpowers for something that feels truly meaningful. I’m creating calendars that sparkle with fun and purpose. I’m promoting events that actually bring people joy. I’m tapping my fancy friends to be speakers all while building relationships, nurturing engagement, and using my knack for connection to help make senior living more vibrant, welcoming, and full of life.

Enjoy Life.

And get this: St Rita Square’s tagline is “Enjoy Life.” How’s that for poetic irony? I left a job where I was too busy working to actually live—and now my entire role revolves around helping people enjoy life. I plan it, celebrate it, and witness it daily. And somewhere along the way, I realized I’m finally living that message myself.

I think that’s what happens when you spend your days with people who know what matters. Who have had full lives and are still chasing moments of joy with wild enthusiasm. Who remind you that it’s not too late to be curious, or bold, or silly, or brave.

And on a very practical note: I’m no longer sitting in a cubicle, chained to multiple computer monitors 60+ hours a week. I go outside. I stretch. I move. Yesterday, I drove a group to Holy Hill so we could all “ooooh and ahhhh” at nature’s wondrous autumnal colors. I’m like a convict who has been released from cinderblock walls. And when I see the sunlight dappling on leaves, I feel overwhelming gratitude. I feel so damn lucky. I talk to real humans about real things. I use my creativity, my sense of humor, and my deep love of connection—every single day. This job feeds my soul.

There’s a quote I love that says, “Work is love made visible.” That’s how this feels. This job is love in motion—driving the bus to the Brewer game, or to Swimming or to Trader Joe’s. The task doesn’t matter much… because I’m only doing it to see my passengers’ eyes light up when they board the bus.

Here’s why I wrote this blog — because… if you can reach just one person… So if you’re contemplating “blowing up your life” — AKA changing your life… do it. You’ll never look back.

Here I am, almost six months in, wildly grateful and still a little stunned at how different life can feel when you’re doing something that lights you up from the inside. I’m not saying every day is perfect. But I am saying that I feel aligned, on purpose, and deeply human in the best possible way.

Here’s to the beautiful humans I get to work with. Here’s to late bloomers and joyful rebels. And here’s to St Rita Square, where “Enjoy Life” isn’t just a tagline—it’s the whole mission. And here’s to me, doing exactly that.

This never happened to be when I was in my cubicle.

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Tags: activities coordinator, anti-cubicle, assisted living, capri communities, career change, enjoy life, family, independent living, life, love, love your life, mental health, Milwaukee, milwaukee senior living, senior communities, senior living, st rita square, writing

October 25, 2025

Telluride Film Fest Reviews 2025

My overall review of the Telluride Film Festival this year is that some films needed to be turned down. Way down. I’m not just talking about volume. I’m talking about drama/story.

For example, Jay Kelly was too much. Real people don’t talk like that. It wasn’t believable. We have enough drama in our world at this moment – no more, thanks. I want truth in my stories and Noah Baumbach tends to turn up the drama/acting to a high pitch level that leaves me thinking: Are these are ‘cartoon character’ characters or real people?

Emily Mortimer + Baumbach’s co-wrote Jay Kelly… which made me wonder: Why isn’t the protagonist a woman? ‘Joyce Kelly’ would have been a much richer, more interesting story if the George Clooney character was a woman (played by Allison Janney). Ok, if it had to be a man, at least make the relationship between the George Clooney and Adam Sandler characters, richer and deeper. A little handholding at the end did not make up for the silliness of most of the story like the daughter’s feet were swollen… That just seems ridiculous and not plausible.

Give me truth in stories.

The movies I found the most watchable and loved:

Network (chock-full of drama), yet it never feels false. The characters feel real, and the fact that this film was made 50 years ago is a testament to the story because everything the writer predicted 50 years ago is what we’re living today. This film is a treasure. It’s not streaming on any platform. So I bought it. Because I feel like this film is new annual mandatory viewing.

And 2025’s far and away, favorite was Sentimental Value. I really hope this film sweeps the Oscars. This is the film of the year. It deserves to win everything. The story starts with a metaphor about how a house knows all of our secrets. Wow. Just such an unbelievably poetic and beautiful way to start the story. I was just completely blown away by this film. Release date: November 7, 2025. In the meantime, watch Worst Person in the World (Netflix now). Renate Reinsve, the incredible Norwegian actress is in both Sentimental Value and Worst Person. She’s so watchable. Every beat feels real.

Speaking of being “blown away”, I also saw Guillermo Del Toro’s Frankenstein. It’s really loud. It’s like a marvel movie for art film people. So many explosions so many CGI wolves. I mean, for what it is it’s fine. It’s just not really my jam because it’s so loud! And when I say loud, I mean the seats in the theater shook. Loud.

2025 Films	Grade
A Private Life	A
All the President’s Men	A+
Blue Moon	B
Deliver Me From Nowhere	A
Frankenstein	B
H is for Hawk	B
The History of Sound	A
If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You	C
Jay Kelly	C
Man on the Run	A
The Mastermind	B
Network	A++
Nouvelle Vague	A
Pillion	B
Sentimental Value (twice)	A++
Tuner	A

A Private Life

Super fun film. Genre-defying. Part Rom-Com. Part Thriller. Part Foreign Film. Pure joyful Jodie Foster.

Jodie Foster was delightful as she introduced her film. Loved that she came to TFF! She’s a treasure.

All the President’s Men

Do yourself a favor, subscribe to Criterion Channel and watch this incredible film. Wow. It was beyond fun to watch it on the big screen. Truth. Not a false note in the whole picture.

Blue Moon

This film feels like a real attempt to get Ethan Hawke an Oscar. It was a miss for me. However, I loved Linklater’s Nouvelle Vague – below.

Deliver Me From Nowhere

It sure was fun having Bruce Springsteen in Telluride! See pic below! The Boss!

Frankenstein

My short take: This film is like a Marvel movie for the NPR-tote carrying art film lovers. Big sweeping CGI. It was quite loud. (Side note: It was really fun seeing a movie with Oprah in the theater! Oprah!!)

H is for Hawk

Claire Foy is great. Mabel is great, too! Mabel! Mabel!

The History of Sound

Beautiful love story. If you liked Brokeback Mountain, you’ll like it.

If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You

This film is pretty tough to watch. If I wasn’t watching it on the big screen, I’m not sure I would have stuck it out. Rose Byrne was directed to TURN IT UP and she’s damn near hysterical. It’s A LOT.

Jay Kelly

I don’t love Noah Baumbach – I mean, well, I love that he loves Greta Gerwig, because I love her, too. But his films are really over-the-top. I prefer more truthful performances. Jay Kelly is all TOO MUCH.

Man on the Run

Great doc about Paul McCartney. Fun ride.

The Mastermind

Fun + suspenseful. Everyone loves a good heist film, right?

Network

Whoa. This forward-thinking film predicted EVERYTHING. Watch it now and you’ll be knocked out by the writer’s premonitions about the future. Could have been made in 2025. Holy shit. SEE THIS FILM AGAIN TODAY.

Nouvelle Vague

A fictional telling of the making of 1961’s Breathless. Super fun! Wear your sunglasses and enjoy it even more.

Pillion

If you like penises, you will love it. I’m not sure I loved it. It’s like a gay-”Secretary”. And I loved Secretary (2002).

Sentimental Value

I mean… I saw this film twice… and that should tell you everything you need to know — so, I’m not going to tell you ANYTHING about this film – because you just gotta see it for yourself. It’s just incredible. I will see it again when it’s released in November, 2025.

Tuner

I liked this little movie about a piano tuner. Good story.

🎬 Trailers (Alphabetical)

A Private Life — Trailer on MUBI
Blue Moon — Official Trailer (2025) YouTube
Deliver Me From Nowhere — Official Trailer (2025) YouTube
Frankenstein (del Toro) — Official Trailer YouTube
Hamnet — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLOWdtjLCTo

If I Had Legs, I’d Kick You — Official Trailer (A24) YouTube
Jay Kelly — Official Trailer (2025) YouTube
Sentimental Value — Trailer 1 YouTube | Trailer 2 YouTube

Here we go! 52nd Annual Telluride Film Fest… and my 25th!

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Tags: film, movie, movies, review, reviews

September 4, 2025

Telluride Film Fest 2024 Reviews (very late + unfinished)

Betsy’s best films of 2024:

Telluride Film Festival:

Emilia Pérez
Conclave
Outrun, The

Anora	B
Barry Lyndon	C
Better Man	D
Bird	A
Blink	A
Conclave	A+
Emilia Pérez	A+
Friend, The	C
Maria	C
Martha	C
Nickel Boys	B
One to One: John & Yoko	B
Outrun, The	A
Saturday Night	B
Social Studies	A
Will & Harper	B
Zurawski vs. Texas	A+

Anora

People go absolutely nutty for Sean Baker films! And I get it. His flair for storytelling feels cooler than other films. Anora has his signature cartoonish Tom & Jerry-fights between our hero and the bad guys. It’s fun! That said, some of the “Fuck you” “No, fuck you” scenes felt kinda repetitive. I liked it. I didn’t love it.

Update: What do I know? This film won Best Picture. Hah!

Barry Lyndon

I had never seen Barry Lyndon, let alone on the big screen. Overall (sadly), my assessment was “Meh”. At 3+ hours, I was bored much more than I was delighted… ok, Stanley Kubrick – was that the point? People RAVE about this film. Kenneth Lonergan who introduced it, as a masterpiece (and who I admire as a masterpiece-filmmaker) said this is his favorite film. TOmato, toMAto, right? My favorite: Moonstruck. Barry Lyndon is no Moonstruck.

Better Man

Oof. Disclaimer: I don’t love Robbie Williams. So maybe that’s important in order to like this film. And – maybe this film sounded better in the pitch. Because Robbie Williams is a pop star and people know what he looks like so when he wanted an animated monkey to play him… well, maybe that sounded artsy and cool? One can only guess. But the execution – oof. Missed the target by 1000%. This film was pretty unwatchable. I walked out. And that’s rare… I walk out of a film every 10 years. Better Man was the winner!

Bird

Directed by Andrea Arnold (which is the reason I wanted to see Bird… because Andrea Arnold is such a beautiful filmmaker. And I like Bird a lot.

Blink

Conclave (One of my faves at Telluride Film Festival)

Trailer here

Emilia Pérez (My fave at Telluride Film Festival)

Trailer here

Netflix now

Friend, The

Maria

Martha

Side note: It would be really fun if SNL would do a mashup of Maria & Martha (called, naturally: Marthia) where Martha Stewart parades around a Parisien apartment in a long white macramé robe talking about her glory days as an opera singer while basting a turkey. Just a thought.

Nickel Boys

One to One: John & Yoko

Outrun, The (One of my faves at Telluride Film Festival)

Trailer here

Saturday Night

Social Studies

Love Lauren Greenfield’s films! In another TFF programmed documentary, The Kingmaker, Greenfield captured Imelda talking about putting DIAmonds in DIApers… How could we ever forget? Social Studies is about the direct impact that social media is affecting teenagers mental health. It’s terrifying – as you can imagine. The desire to be reckless, famous, rich… that’s not a new concept for adolescents.

Will & Harper

This is a good How To documentary for people who need a way to relate to Will Ferrell as a regular guy with a trans friend. To me, the story was told a bit too much of Ferrell’s POV. It’s also not one of the best docs I’ve seen this year – that top prize was clearly Between the Mountain and the Sky.

Showing now on Netflix.

Zurawski vs. Texas

If you’ve read my reviews in previous years, I’ve often said “Now – here’s a film that exemplifies precisely why WOMEN MUST TELL THEIR STORIES… we need to see ourselves.” This film demonstrates this perfectly. What could be more of a women-focused story than one talking about the need for safe abortions? This is the film that tells our story. These women who are suing Texas for safe healthcare are warriors. They should be celebrated. Wow. Oh yeah… and we got to shake Hillary Clinton’s hand. The woman who was supposed to be our president… only the world wasn’t ready. Or something. Now look were we are. UGH. How long must we wait? More info: https://reproductiverights.org/zurawski-v-texas/

Trailer here

Biggest TFF Regret: I missed September 5 which is my TFF regret (as I was told by Katie Trainor – TFF veteran, who gave it rave reviews). Alas, the film is being released for Christmas. Can’t wait to see it on the big screen, as God (and everyone who loves films) intended.

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October 23, 2024

Open letter to the Trump voters in my family

You have a choice. In less than 2 weeks, we are all going to decide who is the best representative to lead our country. Which candidate is the right person to represent the United States? Truthfully, I’m beyond bewildered that you are undecided about this election or worse… still planning to vote for Trump.

In Wisconsin, because of the electoral college, our vote really matters. If you’re in Missouri, then maybe that state will go red no matter what… which is also totally bananas.

Here’s why we all need to be concerned:

Democracy

You’ve heard that “democracy is on the ballot”.

Why are some people sounding this alarm?

Because Trump has praised dictators. He is chums with Vladimir Putin. Putin, who has ruled Russia since 2000, has created a nightmare regime under which his opponents are murdered; free speech isn’t tolerated (anyone who speaks up against Putin will be punished – like political prisoners who are sent to Siberia for decades behind bars; minority rights (women & gays) are suppressed; opposition is quashed; foreign territory is forcefully annexed; and Syria’s bloodthirsty president, Bashar Assad, enjoys direct military support for his massacres.

This could be the United States.

Just like that bumper sticker on that pickup truck says “Freedom ain’t free”. We have to vote for our rights to be protected. Sure, we can’t IMAGINE that the US wouldn’t have freedom of speech – because we’ve all grown up having it. But that’s only because we’ve voted for people who have upheld democracy. That’s not Trump’s plan. He was almost successful in overthrowing the government on January 6th. And if he’d had more support, he would not have left. That’s Dictator territory.

And for those reading this who say – that’s alarmist… how many warning signs do you need to protect democracy?

Trump’s Dictator Playbook:

Habit of maligning immigrants
Casting himself as a victim
Attempting to discredit the media

1 – ✔️

2 – ✔️

3 – ✔️

This is not like other elections.

In 2024, we do not have the luxury of debating issues like taxes and public vs private education. We don’t even have the luxury of debating abortion… Side note: if you don’t believe in abortion – then don’t have one. If you don’t believe in gay marriage, then don’t marry a dude. If you don’t believe in saving the planet, then drive a Hummer. You have lots of choices. You know why? Because we live in a free country!

And to my cousins (and their kids) who seem to only be concerned about the economy… Look at Trump’s record.

The economy lost 2.7 million jobs. The unemployment rate increased by 1.7 percentage points to 6.4%.
The international trade deficit Trump promised to reduce went up. The U.S. trade deficit in goods and services in 2020 was the highest since 2008 and increased 36.3% from 2016.
The number of people lacking health insurance rose by 3 million (which means healthcare costs must fall to everyone else).
The federal debt held by the public went up, from $14.4 trillion to $21.6 trillion. Talk about an unstable government!
Illegal immigration increased. Apprehensions at the Southwest border rose 14.7% compared with 2016.
Coal production declined 26.5%, and coal-mining jobs dropped by 25%.
Handgun production rose 12.5% compared with 2016, setting a new record.
The murder rate in 2020 rose to the highest level since 1997. Trump tells you that you are unsafe — and he’s the one who is making us unsafe.
More than 400,000 Americans DIED during Covid due to his inaction. He told people to drink bleach. He thought he was smarter than doctors and scientists. His leadership directly resulted in deaths.

Source: https://www.factcheck.org/2021/10/trumps-final-numbers/

I’m citing the source here because you may shrug and say “FAKE NEWS”. Which is what Trump has taught you. The fact that so many Trump supports do not believe FACTS in largely due to Trump’s dismissal of truth and facts.

The only sane option in this election is Kamala Harris.

Let’s debate again in 2028 like the Americans we are… because we will have that right. We will fiercely debate all the issues that are most important to each of us without fear of punishment, imprisonment.

In 2024, vote for Kamala.

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Tags: Democracy, donald-trump, news, Politics, trump

November 6, 2022

3 Reasons to Vote, Wisconsin.

You’ve seen all the ads. You’ve heard all the reasons why you should vote.

This is the most important election of our lifetime. Traditionally, midterms (the 2-year halfway mark when we only vote for some elected officials but we don’t have an opportunity to vote for the president) have the lowest turnout because people want to vote for the top dog: The President. But what people may not understand is the president needs these “worker bee” elected officials to get their work done.

3 reasons to vote:

Wisconsin is not for sale.

Outside groups trying to influence the outcome of Wisconsin’s elections spent a record $52 million in the lead-up to next week’s vote. That’s a 43% increase over the previous record spending year in 2018. And the money is continuing to flow in. Why? Because the super rich in our country want to BUY WISCONSIN. Don’t let them. Vote for what’s best for you: Women’s healthcare and access to safe and legal abortion, gun safety, education, the planet… Vote your voice.

Vote because they don’t want you to vote.

Vote simply because “they” don’t want you to vote. They = republicans. They do everything they can to prevent you from voting. They redistrict where you live so you need to go to a new polling place. Michels has been quoted as he is elected his party “will never lose another election” in the state. Sen. Johnson hasn’t done a thing for the working people of WI. He only votes to help the super rich… and just in case you think that’s you… if you less than $400k… sorry to break it to you, but you are not rich. You are still aspiring to be rich.

Democracy (voting) is in jeopardy.

“Democracy is on the ballot. Tim Michels has made it clear he will do anything in his power to make it harder for Wisconsinites to vote and could even overturn the fair results of our elections if he doesn’t like the outcome.” That’s the end of democracy as we know it.

I want to vote to make the world better, cleaner, safer… all of those things. But this election is not really about making things better… it’s really about preventing WORSE things from happening. That’s a depressing thought but I believe it’s true.

We want the United States to be a leader in clean energy, cleaner air, free and equal healthcare for all (not just the rich), safe abortions for women who decide that’s the right choice for them, immigration reform, prison reform, free and equal education… the list goes on. Vote so we can get there. Vote like your rights depend on it.

Bonus reason!!

Voting is public record.

And if none of these reasons above are compelling… vote because voting is public record. Your friends and family can see if you vote or don’t vote. We can’t see WHO you vote for. But we can see IF you vote.

This is the single most important election in our lifetime. Find an hour and vote on Tuesday.

I will be working at the polls because I feel that it’s my democratic duty to show up and make sure that voting is easy/available/fast for you to vote. Do whatever you can. VOTE.

My endorsements:

Tony Evers for Governor
Mandela Barnes for US Senator
Josh Kaul for Attorney General
Doug LaFollette for Secretary of State
Gwen Moore for Congress, 4th Congressional District

Do your homework: https://shepherdexpress.com/news/features/endorsements-for-the-november-8-general-election/

Posted in Democracy, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Tags: Democracy, vote, Wisconsin

October 3, 2022

Goodbye, Kopps.

If you know me even a little bit… you know I love Kopp’s Frozen Custard.

Until today.

Why?

Did I discover a long hair in my cheeseburger? No.

Were my onion rings soggy and cold? No.

This is not a quality issue.

This is a 100% PR / Belief issue.

Kopp’s declared that Sunday, October 9th is Pro-Life Day. And Kopp’s is celebrating?? Um. What? Hello? Kopp’s? Why do you hate women? We’ve been good customers for decades.

I’m pro-Woman.

I’m pro-Voting.

I’m pro-Democracy.

I’m pro-Turtle.

And until now… I was pro-Cupcake.

Kopp’s leadership, please come out and renounce this statement authored by a rogue employee. Please tell us that you respect women. Please tell us that you understand abortion should always be determined by the woman and what’s right for her. Please respond that you know a woman has the right to choose what is best for her body and her life. Please tell us that you’re on the correct side of history.

Or we will be forced to boycott your delicious creamy custard. Neither of us want that.

I wonder if Leon’s Pro-Choice?

AMENDMENT:

I spoke with 2 of Kopp’s management (north shore + layton ave).

They (both men) told me that this was an oversight and never intended to be a statement. I encouraged them to make a public statement to denounce the rogue employee. They should be fired. The amount of collateral damage this person created will bring to Kopp’s is far worse than giving someone a free burger because it was cold. This kind of damage could be irreversible.

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments »

June 24, 2020

Enough is enough

Enough is enough.

We’ve all said it in the last few weeks. We’ve had enough. Enough of what is the main difference between us.

What have you had enough of?

Some of us have had enough of black men and women dying senselessly at the hands of morally bankrupt police officers. Some of us have had enough of looters stealing and protesters destroying historic statues.

Which side are you on? Depends on how you see the world.

Let’s assume for a moment that racism and inequality bothers everyone. And it does, in theory. It bothers most people when they look at a photo from 1902 of a man hanging from a tree and think to themselves “Oh my god, those white people were savages. I’m not like that.” Nobody says “I’m a Racist”, right? Ok, only the super crazies do. I don’t know anyone like that (that I know of) They aren’t related to me. Just the light racists. But here’s the thing. A racist is a racist.

About a year ago, I was at a family wedding and a racist comment was made to my cousin’s non-white fiancé. We all were embarrassed by the comment so I didn’t confront the white woman who said it. And the young woman who is still engaged to my cousin didn’t condemn our entire family as racists (though, she could have). She made the decision not to make a generalization about our family. She went high, when we went low.

Today, I regret not saying something. Getting involved felt aggressive. I don’t want her “to feel bad” because I made the assumption that she was embarrassed by her cruel comment. It felt like getting involved with something that didn’t belong to me. But I was wrong. When a racist comment goes unchecked, it’s accepted. I will not be silent anymore and I won’t ever make that mistake again.

Our black brothers and sisters need solidarity. They need allies. Speaking up is the right thing to do because no racist behavior is acceptable.

Tonight, some of us will watch “the news” and feel anger and frustration at people who are marching to raise awareness for much needed police reform in Seattle and Milwaukee and our entire country. You’ve missed the point of the protests. “Yeah…. ok, that cop killed a man… BUT WHAT ABOUT THE LOOTING? Yeah, the cop killed a man, BUT WHAT ABOUT PRESERVING HISTORIC STATUES?” Yeah, the cop killed a man, BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GOOD COPS?” Protesting is American. We are protesting because it’s the best tool available to us. We are sayin: ENOUGH. I WANT THE WORLD TO CHANGE SO I’M CHOOSING TO SHOW UP FOR BLACK PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOT BEEN TREATED FAIRLY. Period. So stop pointing out all the ways the protesters are getting it wrong. Stop posting ‘White Lives Matter’ messages on Facebook to create a reaction from your liberal friends and family. Stop. Be quiet. Listen to the voices that haven’t had equal airtime. Black Lives Matter. Black Voices Matter.

These are not easy conversations to have. But they are worth having so we can stop the endless cycle of violence and unfairness against black people.

Want to take the first step? Great! Educating yourself is a good place to start.

I watched a documentary called True Justice: Bryan Stevenson’s Fight for Equality that is streaming free on YouTube. The film shows how white people (good people) stood by and did nothing in 1900 when black people were lynched “because they weren’t even worth putting through the legal system” so white men killed them to teach them a lesson. Today, black people are incarcerated at more than 5 times the rate of whites. The imprisonment rate for black women is twice that of white women. We don’t lynch black people. We send them to jail. Systemic racism in action. This is why we march.

None of us is free until all of us are free.

So. We can’t leave anyone behind. We need everyone because enough is enough. Black people are not treated fairly in our country. Fairness starts with us. It starts with telling the truth about who we are. I’m looking at you, Brian. I’m looking at you, Steve. I’m looking at you, Mary. We need to all be part of the solution so we can all be free.

What have you done to extend help to your fellow black American today? If you say “nothing”, then you are part of the problem. It’s that simple. You can no longer shake your head at the news and say “Oh, that’s too bad.” Now is the time to act. Get out of your comfort zone. My cousin, Amy helped to organize a march in her predominately white suburban neighborhood. That’s taking action! It’s a risk to extend yourself for another person. To empathize with the sufferer, and show up. And it’s inspiring! Amy is part of the solution! Be like Amy!

If marching isn’t really your thing, that’s ok. There’s a deadly virus being passed from person to person. It’s understandable. But that doesn’t excuse you from doing nothing.

Here’s some action steps:

Find a local march and experience the solidarity of marching with your neighbors who are also taking a stand and saying “enough is enough”
Donate to NAACP and/or Equal so black people get fair representation in our country
Have conversations with your family and friends to ask how they are part of the solution
Watch this documentary about why this is happening and the history of racism in the United States
Read a book that helps you to understand racism better. Here’s a few titles to get you started:
- White Fragility by Robin DiAngelo
- How to Be an Anti-Racist by Ibram X. Kendi
- Eloquent Rage by Brittany Cooper

No judgment. No “what took you so long to see the light?” We need everybody. Join us. Be part of the solution instead of part of the problem because there is no middle. Choose a side. I hope you choose love and equality for all.

Posted in BLM, Uncategorized | Leave a Comment »

Tags: Black Lives Matter, bryan stevenson, just mercy, white privilege

June 4, 2020

Homer Rowbottom 2007-2020

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I loved him. And he loved me. We are the lucky ones.

June 4, 2020

Homer stopped eating a few days ago. I watched him carefully because everyone told me that he would tell me when he’s ready to go. I hovered over him for the past couple of weeks like any good helicopter parent. I glanced at him every few minutes to verify I could see his chest rising and so I knew he was breathing. Until today, when I knew that I had to make the ultimate sacrifice for his well-being over my desire to keep him alive because I didn’t want to live in the world without him. I don’t. Especially now. Has there been a darker time during my lifetime? I can’t recall one. Police brutality against peaceful protestors. Killer pandemic. Oh yeah, and there’s also an asteroid careening towards earth… It’s never the right time to say goodbye, but now is an especially bad time to lose my co-pilot.

This isn’t about me. This is a celebration and a reflection on all of the goodness Homer has heaped upon my life. For the past few months, I had been bracing for full pain impact for today when he took his last breath. I feel a bottomless pit of sadness, but I also feel big waves of the joy and unconditional love he has show me for the past 13 years. I’m so lucky he chose me on that beautiful June day in 2007 at the Wisconsin Humane Society. Homer enriched my life endlessly.

Anyone who has or had a dog understands. Anyone who presently has a monogamous relationship with their dog, really understands. Homer was my mate. Well, I should amend that. We aren’t lovers (ewww), but he’s a better listener, playmate, non-judging friend than any man I’ve ever dated or known. That’s because dogs are better than people. I’m not sure which Greek philosopher said this, but it’s true. Ok, I said it.

I named Homer “Homer” because I discovered him at the Wisconsin Humane Society on a warm and sunny day in June, 2007 just a few weeks after I bought my first home. I wanted to choose a name that represented that big moment in my life. My first home. What I didn’t know then, that I know now is that over the 13 years we spent together, Homer became my home.

June, 2007 — about an hour after I rescued Homer (but who rescued who?)

Homie was the cutest puppy! Ever! And lots of people wanted him at the Humane Society that day. But I got him. He was the top prize for some good deed I did somewhere sometime.

Here’s just a few things that I loved and love about him:

Homer *always* let me sleep in whenever I wanted. He was selfless like that. And I’m not a doctor, but I think maybe his bladder was made of titanium steel. He had one accident in the house in 13 years. I am pretty sure I’ve peed on the floor more than he did.

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He didn’t need a leash (“um, leashes are for dogs! I am NOT a dog” – said Homer). He’d often trash-talk and chase squirrels up trees; and when a daring squirrel raced across our street, Homer, hot on its trail, screeched to a halt at the curb. So much restraint. He understood that the no-leash policy was a privilege not a right. He was so good. He was the best.
I could leave a dinner plate heaping with food on the eye-level coffee table and he wouldn’t touch it. He believed in the honor system.
He woke up the entire neighborhood when he SQUEAKED louder than the loudest car alarm to show his enthusiasm and joy to see you. Nobody was more happy to see me. Or anyone. His joy was boundless and indiscriminate.

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One summer several years ago, he overcame his fear of walking the plank (bravely walking on a dock) so he could go on booze cruises at my friends’ lake house. He showed me real courage so I didn’t feel so afraid in my everyday endeavors (which is a trait I’m using a lot these days).

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He was an excellent house guest when I traveled (and always welcome to join me at the lake). If I traveled farther than a weekend car trip, he could stay with friends who were happy to have him. I knew he’d behave so I could enjoy my adventures away from home. He missed me, but he was brave and generous like that.

He let me photograph him like I was William Wegman resulting in hundreds… ok, thousands of digital images of him (see MORE pix in the slideshow below). He was my muse.

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He was my best personal trainer and made going for walks fun. And if I only wanted to walk to the corner because I was running late… he popped a squat and pooped within 4 minutes. Homer was the all-time undisputed insta-pooper.
Homer loved nature and reminded me to stop to smell flowers and lilacs in our neighborhood. He appreciated the small stuff and as he aged, he walked slower and slower and found the shady spot under my magnolia to be a cozy spot.

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Homer under my magnolia

Everyone in our neighborhood knows Homer. Only a few people know my name.
He showed his love to everyone. Strangers. Me. Everybody. He didn’t play hard-to-get. And he had real favorites. He loved his Granny and kept her company while she sewed every day. He understood the power of togetherness.

Homie and Granny doing their thing

Homer spent lots of time in Granny’s Quilt Studio

And today, he leaned into the great unknown. Brave and showing no fear after dying slowly for months. Slow enough for me to grieve on layaway. I’ve been making small grief pre-payments for the last few months so today’s big grief lump sum didn’t hit me all at once.

June 2, 2020

I will always love Homer more than most humans because he loved me 100% unconditionally. He loved me when I was unlovable because he didn’t think I was ever unlovable. He loved me when I was late to walk/feed him and kept him waiting and never complained or revenge peed on my favorite rug. Lots of people say they have the best dog, but we know the truth.

A good Snuggle Party on the Couch Boat was our favorite

Homer was almost 13 years and 2 months old. About 92 in human years. He’s lived a wonderful long life and being 92 reminds me of another amazing bright light I admired who also left a beautiful legacy that lives on, and inspires me. Johnny Barnes believed that “life is sweet. Life is beautiful… it’s always sweet to be alive.” Homer lived by Johnny’s words.

Last night – June 3, 2020

I don’t want to stop writing this because ending this is really the end. But I read that eulogies are supposed to be short. The best ones are less than 10 minutes long, so this one is already too long. But before I say goodbye for good, I want to also share my favorite EE Cummings poem that maybe shouldn’t be applied to a dog, but Homer wasn’t really a dog. Homer inhabited a physical body so I could see up close what real love looks like. And now he is a bright light who will shine brightly for me all of the rest of my days.